True Colours

This was the place where I was going to write the epic post about what happened this week.  About how my eldest daughter lost a friend to suicide, and that friend happened to be transgendered.  And I was going to mention that suicide is an epidemic in the young transgendered community in particular.  I was probably going to mention that those suicides aren't likely due to those kids being "confused" as much as society not being equipped to deal with people who don't fit their mold of normal.  I was going to talk about how people, young people, our children, are killing themselves over the fact that we, as adults, are failing at mirroring compassion for the younger generation.  For a minute, let's just pretend that being transgendered is a "phase" of "confusion".  Well, guess what?  Because people are failing at their humanitarianism, we will never know, because that kid felt so ostracised, that they took their own life.  See how that works?  Let's keep pretending, for the sake of the story, that the transgendered, and the homosexuals, and the lesbians, and the pan sexuals, and the queers, and the demis, and the bis (sorry if I'm using terms you aren't familiar with- let's just go with "not straight")  So, moving along, let's just say that all of the "non-straights" are in a period of confusion.  Now imagine this.  We treat everyone with kindness, and compassion. we don't name call.  We don't bully, harass, shout slurs, or put our hands on people.  We say things like "I like your hair that way!" or "wow!  you look better in a dress than I do!".  Or, if it's a struggle, don't say anything at all.  You know what?  If your theory was right, at the end, out pops an emotionally whole and well adjusted straight person.  And, if my theory is right, at the end, out pops and emotionally whole person, period.  See how your theory doesn't have to be wrong, for mine to be right?  Think on that for a bit.  Instead, I had to spend my week trying to keep my kid emotionally whole, and explain to her why this world has to be such a cruel place.  I had to find a way to help her grieve, help her find answers to questions that have no answers, help hr find closure, help her find peace.  Don't even try and blame the kid.  Just... don't.

And then, Orlando.  Before I could even find any of the words to describe the heartache of watching my kid process what happened to her friend.  Orlando.  Fifty souls.  FIFTY SOULS. People's children.  Aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, lovers.  And my heart aches.  Because, as I word vomited onto facebook, it could have been my kid.  It could have been my kid.  Say that out loud until it sinks in.  It could have been your kid, too.  I've been to gay bars, so I guess it could have been me, too.  This isn't politics.  It isn't religion.  We are all human.  By our very name, we should all be humanitarians.  We should be looking after one another- we have become so isolated in a world that is so overconnected that we have lost the most important key to our survival- our interdependance on one another.  We chat, we text, we call, we email. But we don't do life together.  We spend our time glorifying our differences to a point that we are villifying entire groups of people, instead of rejoicing and reveling in them.  Everyone has something to contribute.  Everyone deserves kindness, and hope, and safety.  And within the next 15 years or so, I will be opening the doors on the vault of safety I have been struggling to maintain,  and watching my children spread their wings, quietly fearful that they will be shot down, not figuratively, but literally.

I'm sure there is more to be said, but this is a start for now....

Cyndi Lauper - True Colors Live

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
Its hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow

If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors
True colors
True colors
Shining through

I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow